That Which is of Value
by HallowRain8587
Summary: When all is lost, what do we value? What do we need more than life itself?


**J.K. Rowling has generously shared her imagination of the Harry Potter world and the persons inhabiting that world for our reading pleasure**. I have allowed my characters and plot to visit.

Written for**The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition****, Season 2 Round 9, Chaser 3 position on the Kenmare Kestrals. **I was given the task of writing about a necessity of the character, Lucius Malfoy, and the following prompts: (quote) "I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness a million times, but never once into it" – Jonathan Safran Foer; (word) Blind; (word) Join.

**That Which is of Value**

"Will the prisoner please rise for the reading of the verdict and sentence? Lucius Abraxas Malfoy you have been found guilty in the matter of using inexcusable curses and dark hexes on unarmed muggles, then wiping their memories causing 43 cases of unexplained amnesia. You have also been found guilty of aiding and abetting a known and wanted criminal and housing the same, Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Lord Voldemort and also known as the Dark Lord and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, in your Wiltshire home, Malfoy Manor." He slumped a little waiting for the other shoe to fall, but not enough for anyone but his wife and son to notice, for a Malfoy never shows emotion (well, except disdain and anger). The judge continued, "You have been sentenced to 25 years to life in Azkaban, but with good behavior you will be eligible for a parole hearing in 10 years beginning immediately. Furthermore, it is the will of the Wizengamot that you be stripped of your seat in that body and the position on the Board of Governors of Hogwarts. You will forfeit one half share in all properties derived from the Malfoy family to the Ministry, the remaining half to be divided with two-thirds going to your wife Narcissa Black Malfoy and one-third to Draco Lucius Malfoy since they have been found not guilty. If Mrs. Malfoy or Mr. Malfoy wishes to purchase the one-half interest in any of the Malfoy properties or businesses, they will have thirty days to make arrangements to pay the full cost for the on-half share; otherwise it will remain Ministry property. All property gained as dowry from the Ancient House of Black shall be reverted to the heir of that property, less one per cent per year of marriage which will be given to Mrs. Malfoy. The seat on the Wizengamot and the seat on the Board of Governors of Hogwarts will go to Mrs. Malfoy as caretaker of the positions until Mr. Malfoy completes his education and reaches an age of twenty-five since they are part of the Malfoy heritage. Lastly, your wand is now to be broken and all wandmakers notified that you may never receive another wand during your lifetime, even if you are paroled."

Lucius felt as though he had been hexed into oblivion, but kept his head high as he was escorted by two aurors from the courtroom and to the apparition point. Upon reaching Azkaban he maintained the demeanor for which he was well known. Another auror was waiting at a desk just inside the gates. "Gray" was on the nametag the guard wore and Lucius thought it appropriate. Gray started reading through the parchment the escorts provided. "Wait, it says here that he is allowed one book which has been examined and proven clear of all dark magic and codes for the one hour of reading time he is allowed per day."

The auror named Blakely handed Gray a small journal type book with hundreds of quotes and poems written in neat penmanship. "You'd think that with his money he could afford something newer and written by someone we had heard of." Gray nodded and placed the book into a small lock-box. He then had Lucius place his hand on the top of the box and cast a spell making it impossible for anyone other than Lucius access to his book. In answer to the unasked question Gray said, "In the past guards and other prisoners have tampered with, destroyed or stole the books. Since you are only allowed one, you should be able to retain unfettered possession of it. We haven't become soft, but we aren't totally barbaric. Take your box, your two blankets and your pillow to your cell. The guards will verify every morning and evening that you have one and only one pillow and two and only two blankets. At this time they will escort you to the showers where your dirty clothes will be taken away and clean left while you bathe. You will be brought food twice a day during the first month of your incarceration and then allowed to eat with the general population once you have proven that you can be trusted to behave yourself and not join prison gangs while out in the exercise yard during your one hour per day recreation period. Your lock-box will fit into a warded alcove in your cell and be accessible to only you and only sixty minutes a day. You may keep any mail you receive in your box also. Mail, both incoming and outgoing, will be read and censored by the decoding unit which will scrutinize it for messages and magic, so do not abuse this privilege or it will be the first you lose. Access to the prisoner's library is weekly for two hours and reading is restricted to the muggle classics and current fiction unless you wish to obtain a muggle higher education degree and then such materials as are necessary will be obtained and allowed use of in the library. Any questions, Mr. Malfoy?"

Lucius thought for a moment and then stated, "I thought there were Dementors to suck out what was left of my soul. Where are they?"

"Gone. Are you a blind man or do you just choose not to read current newspapers?"

"No, I gave them up for Lent," he replied. "They have been so full of drivel and I have been hiding away and lost touch." He picked up the stack of bedding and placed his lock-box on top and followed the first auror with the second auror trailing and gate-keepers as the engine and caboose of a train. The first gate-keeper lead them up a flight of stairs and down a long hall to the last cell on the east side of the prison. He gave a silent incantation and touched the door, not dissimilarly to the touch of the entrance to the vaults in Gringotts. The second gate-keeper stepped forward and did the same. The door opened to a cell about eight feet long and six feet wide with a stone bed on one side and a small sink and toilet on the other. The first gate-keeper wordlessly opened the alcove and nodded for Lucius to place his box inside. It was fully within his cell but unobtainable due to bars surrounding it. "It opens automatically when you return from dinner and closes one hour later. The box is charmed to move back in automatically, so do not try to keep it longer. Smashing your arms in the bars is painful. The book is now charmed to return to the box, so watch your fingers," he said with a smirk. "Your supper will arrive in half an hour and the alcove will open for lock-box retrieval when you return your tray to the slot under the door. You may keep either the tumbler or the mug that come on your tray so that you have something to drink from until the next meal, but not both. Anything else? No? Good day." As Lucius stepped into the cell clutching his bedding to his chest as though it were all left to him in the world, the two gate-keepers closed and locked the cell. They and the two aurors turned and left.

Lucius felt so alone in the world. He had necessarily kept his demeanor stoic throughout the ordeal, after all he was a Malfoy. Now he could let his guard down where no one could hear or see. He spread one blanket on the stone bed/bench and left the other on the "foot" of the bed by the wall. He then placed the pillow on the other end where the rising sun would come in through the small, high window in the east and shine on his face. He had never before wanted to greet the dawn, but this was a new day. He sat on the hard surface and put his head in his hands and cried. He had never done this in his life, but never before had he been in a situation like this. Not even when he had been in Azkaban after the incident with the prophecies in the Department of Mysteries did he break down. Now they were much kinder than he deserved and there was more light and freedom, yet he was crying like a baby. Maybe it was a release from all the years of pent up tension that had finally come out like a break in a dam that had allowed an emotional release like a river overflowing.

Supper arrived as predicted. Lucius could hear the chiming of Big Ben even inside the prison, which gave him a feeling of comfort. It was a continuity he needed to maintain his sanity. The food was warm and delicious, not like bland porridge and water served once a day during his first incarceration. There was a tumbler of milk and a mug of tea on the tray with a large helping of shepherd's pie and applesauce and two cookies. All of the food could be eaten with the plastic spoon he had been given. The tea had two packets of sugar sitting by it on the tray and he assumed that if he wanted milk in it that it could be added from the tumbler. Lucius was amazed how hungry he was until he remembered that he had been unable to eat much for days leading up to the trial. When he finished he placed the tray in the slot and kept the mug of tea for later. It would cool to room temperature, better than tepid, but not as good as hot or iced he thought.

He started at the click of the alcove opening and moved swiftly to retrieve the lock-box. He placed his hand on the top and it sprang open to his touch. The book that the guard held in such disdain was dear to Lucius. Beginning with his first year at Hogwarts he had used it to record quotes, thoughts and poems he deemed worthy of more meditation. He had never allowed anyone to read the book and now it had been violated by the eyes of the Ministry, yet they found it benign. He thumbed through the pages looking for a specific quote, one that had seemed odd when he had entered it, but relevant now. There it was about half way through. "I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness a million times, but never once into it," by Jonathan Safran Foer. Lucius let out a small chuckle at the irony. He then carefully put the book back into the box, caressing the dark green suede leather cover with the silver oval containing the Malfoy seal embellished with green jade. He closed the box and placed it carefully in the alcove. Lucius had received the journal from his maternal grandmother who had been the kindest, most loving person in his family. She had been so proud of him when he received his Hogwarts letter. He had broken her heart when he followed his paternal family's wishes by following Tom Riddle. She moved to France and cut herself off from the family once his grandfather had passed away. Well now Lucius had plenty of time to "think himself into happiness" and that is what he would do. He had a new resolve. When they came in the morning to ask what work he wished to do to help pay for his incarceration he would ask if they need someone to work in the library or office. He was good at that type of work.

Weeks later, after reading the quote from the American President, Franklin Roosevelt about the only thing to fear was fear, Lucius decided he would write to Draco and tell him where his grandmother was and how to contact her since she was living as a muggle. First he would write Narcissa and his grandmother and ask for forgiveness. He chuckled softly at the thought that he had lived his life more like the quote from that other American Roosevelt President. He had talked softly (through clenched teeth) and carried a big stick (his cane with the wand in the handle). He would have to ask Draco in his next letter how the walking stick had fared. The book his grandmother had spent a galleon on so many years ago would be his salvation. Lucius was aware a new feeling, hope.


End file.
